This is a blog post I’ve had in mind since I started Happy Is The New Healthy, mostly because of the name connection (you’ll see…), but I struggled over whether or not I should post something that might offend people I truly care about and readers of my blog. That being said, I can’t hold back. That’s not who I am. And Dr. Seuss gave me a good reminder.
That being said, this is an opinion.
Why strong might be the new skinny, but that’s scary
When I first came across the Facebook page for “Strong is the new skinny”, I almost liked it. Then I realized…I don’t like this any more than I like the idea of “skinny is the new skinny”…
As I poked around the page a bit more and ran into some posts that promoted it, I saw some of its merits, but I also saw something troubling: replacing skinny with muscular/fit/just a different idea of “perfection” or even of an “ideal”. IS it really better?
I started to notice a similar trend on some blogs and websites I actually love. I am not going to hate on anyone’s goals or aspirations, but I do hope that aiming for “strong” is really aiming for strong and not aiming for looking like an Oxygen Magazine cover model.
Back to the Facebook page/promos I saw…some of the women I saw in the posts were strong looking, and that’s great. But the vast majority were those Oxygen Cover model lookalikes, whose bodies I would argue are no less out of the realm of healthy or normal or reasonable for the average person than are those of extremely thin models. Many of the pictures associated with the movement say things like “Skinny isn’t healthy–strong is,” or “Be the girl you were too lazy to be yesterday.” Coupled with photos of half naked, tanned, made up women with bodies I rarely see in real life, I’m not so sure this is that different from “thin-spiration,” and that makes me sad.
While I am 100% supportive of moving away from “skinny” as a goal or an ideal, the thought that striving for muscularity–often to the point of heading to the gym to purposefully sculpt certain muscles–seems misguided too. To achieve the look, these women “cut” to an extremely low body fat percentage though they end up weighing a “normal” weight thanks to having more muscle. There are plenty of physical issues that come with being extremely lean for an extended period of time (losing your period, placing your bones at risk, throwing off your hormones, etc.)–issues strangely similar to those associated with striving to be skinny. There are also a host of mental issues (not living up the out of reach standards, using the pursuit of an ideal as a distraction, using your goals as something to control in your life) that I would argue are not much different than those involved in striving to be stick thin.
Though I’d never argue that “eating clean” and pumping iron is unhealthy in and of itself, and I know that many girls who struggle with eating issues come into this lifestyle during their recovery (and eating regularly and learning about your body are good steps in recovery), I guess I struggle because I still see people selling themselves short and dedicating themselves to a petty goal involving shaping their bodies.
Besides specific sculpting workouts, there is a whole lot of eating on purpose involved to get one of those perfectly shaped, sought-after “strong” bodies. Some restriction here, some extra protein there…eating “clean”, etc. I see a LOT of merit in eating more whole foods, but when you replace one set of rules with another, it’s kind of just another form of crazed.
I do not mean to attack anyone here, but striving for anything with your body and controlling it is just another form of ED, in my mind. It might be partially recovered, but everyone deserves full recovery. I guess it’s sad to me because I question what these amazing, hard-working, determined girls might do with their energy otherwise? What if instead of trying to change the shape of their bodies, girls decided to change the world? What if all the energy women spend trying to fix their trouble spots went towards fixing things that are actually broken?
So where do you draw the line? Am I saying that any girl who lifts weights has an ED? Or is selfish and should go volunteer instead?
Heck no. I am a fitness instructor myself–and I believe that working out is fun, a source of strength, and a healthy thing for us! But what I refuse to believe is that striving for an image of “strong” or purposefully trying to create a body type is healthy—it’s still a way to sell yourself short.
Your body is perfect the way it is, naturally. What needs to happen–and I am aware that this is a very humble OPINION–is for us to realize that there is NO ideal body! Wouldn’t it be radical if we thought women were strong because they could climb mountains or run marathons or lift heavy weights—not because they look like a fitness model? I think it’s kind of simple, for people to get healthy they need to focus on getting healthy, not on looking a certain way.
I’ve said it before and it is truly my goal to believe, live, and show the world that your weight is a byproduct. You can focus on it, but we all know that what matters is your actions—are you eating enough nutritious food, moving your body, and giving it the respect it deserves? Your “ideal” body will just come when you’re doing these things!
I know this might be offensive to some people–even to some I really care about–but if your focus is on creating a certain body and if that focus requires specific eating that feels out of intuition, even if it’s a shift from a more restrictive, skinny-focused or an out of control, “screw it” unhealthy place, I’d suggest that it’s still selling yourself short.
Giving up an ideal, a goal for your body, etc. opens up a lot of doors. Scary doors. Think about it. When I gave up the fight to control my body, I was scared shitless. All that energy and what to do with it? Worry about things that matter? Take responsibility for my own life? It’s scary because if you fail, you fail. But being scared is not a reason to revert to an old habit and is not a reason to live small…You’ll also be leaving behind the vast majority of people you meet, who are complacent with disliking their bodies and with accepting the message that there is something wrong with liking themselves. But seriously, when you think about it, what’s better? Settling for a small life or at least trying to live a little while you’re here?
I’m going to reign this one back in, because I’m off on one of my Cheryl’s trying to change the world tangents.
Use your energy, determination, and drive to set goals that matter. Accept that your body has an ideal and will find it when you listen to it and take care of it and give up the need to control or shape it.
When you get to the end of your life, how do you want people to remember you…
- She had a six pack
- She cycled her carbs really well
- She never ate white flour
Or
- She lived her life
- She followed her heart
- She left a mark
?
Be strong, but define it yourself.
Strong is strong.
What do you think? I’m curious to hear responses, especially from people who have thought about or done fitness modelling, this kind of training/eating, or who have had EDs.
If you have a blog, link me up to a post you held back on publishing–was it worth it?
OH MY GOD. I love this post. THANK YOU!!!! honestly, at first I liked the idea of “strong is the new skinny”. But…training to look a certain way is the same thing no matter what look you’re going for. And I don’t understand it. I need a goal that’s higher than myself. My best body, my IDEAL body, is the one that’s there when I’m training hard to do something other than get my ideal body, you know?!?! I love to work out, I love to train, run, bike, do ab work – I love it, I live for it. But I don’t do it because it makes me small and toned, I do it because i love to kick other people’s asses in races. Truth is, if running, biking, and ab work made me fat I’d totally still do them because I love them. I think every woman should focus on doing things that make them feel empowered, that give them a sense of satisfaction, that bring them joy – not things that give them a certain body type. And the eating thing. Oh my god don’t get me started on “clean eating”, it bothers the shit out of me. Yes, I completely agree that eating whole, plant-based foods most of the time is the way to go. But like… are you going to meet your friends for froyo and sit there akwardly while they all eat and you don’t because its not “clean”? Are you going to base your travel and your life plans around what makes it easiest for you to get all the protein you need? like… chill the fck out and live!! it’s replacing one restrictive diet for another, and it’s pretty much orthorexic to be honest.
GAHH ok my rant is much less eloquent than yours but in any case…I agree. I’m all about strong, but strong isn’t a sixpack or glistening biceps. Strong is being able to eat without restrictions. It’s being able to achieve goals that have nothing to do with how you look. It’s about doing awesome stuff like running marathons, cycling 100 miles, completing a triathlon, PRing in the weight room, kicking ass at your job – who cares if you have a ripped body if it can’t actually DO anything ya know?
Thank you for the comment/love! I had a feeling we would be on the same wavelength here, largely because in the past your comments have realllllly gotten me thinking! I think earlier this year you said something similar to how we should do the things that we actually love and let our bodies come out however they’re meant to.
I also LOVE that you used the word “empowered”–to me, that’s strength. I wish I’d thought of that word because I really think being strong is about being powerful and living your life freely!
And it’s so true about missing out on things because of your rules/restrictions. I’ve been that girl, I’ve seen plenty of other girls do those things, and it makes me so sad now!
Focusing on what you want to do, not how you want to look seems like the answer no? Fair to say our goal might be similar: to live life, and to live it LIKE A BOSS!
Great post Cheryl, I’m a big supporter of celebrating gains in strength, both mentally and physically, irrespective of body size. The sense of achievement from a new PR in whatever form of activity in which you participate is something special to gun for – constantly bettering yourself and enjoying the journey, not hating yourself for how you look while doing it. Love what you DO and you will FEEL the benefits. Make your mark through actions.
Thanks for reading/commenting, Alex! I agree, being your best = awesome! But for the sake of being your best, not for the sake of looking a certain way. You are so right!!
Best post I’ve read in a while, really got me thinking, and i totally agree with you. My initial thought were all for strong being the new skinny, but with deeper thought, no. Strong has so much more meaning than being physically fit with six pack of abs. I had some of the most strongest moments of my life when I was in the dark stages of my ed. Strength to overcome things and fight for my life. Not to say i don’t believe in the importance of exercise, as it has help a lot with my recovery. I’ve just learnt and understand that taking anything to the extreme is just not good. Esp. in achieving a perfect body.
You are right that a few ideas are conflated with the word strong and not always are they compatible: body, mind, heart, authority, and count of supporters. (Thanks dictionary.com)
Perhaps the ideal is to balance all of these types of strength–preventing any one from pushing each of us away from a state of health.
Thanks so much for reading and taking the time to comment. It sounds to me like you’re strong in the truest definition of the word–recovery takes true strength! I wish you only the best — you are perfect however you are when you’re taking care of yourself and it sounds like that’s right where you are!
thank you!
YES!!!! I am SO glad you posted this because I could not stop thinking about our conversations and everything that we had talked about. I love this for many reasons.
1. You are a phenomenal writer — articulate, sensitive, empowering!
2. Your honesty is one huge reason why you’re so awesome. It takes a lot of guts and balls and girl, you’ve got it all. I love you for that.
3. I don’t understand fitness competitions — never have, never will. Especially having witnessed so many people around us doing them and watching what they’ve had to put their bodies through. Is it really worth it? The answer is often ‘yes’. ‘Yes’ to the 15 minutes of fame, being able to see every muscle and bone on their body and getting the praise from a mass crowd of contaminated minds. All of that worth months of excess training, restriction (in every aspect — diet, social life, doing what actually matters), feeling weak mentally and physically, NOT TO MENTION the aftermath. What happens after they are deprived for so long? You and I both know — binging day and night, having the same unrealistic mentality that they will be able to maintain it and then having that unfold into a mental disorder of some sort when their weights have catapulted in the opposite direction, seriously destroying their metabolism, etc. I DON’T GET IT. If their few minutes of fame are really worth hating themselves in the long run, then they need a serious life check. Like you said, with all the energy they are spending to work on this unrealistic ‘self’, they could have done something to better the world. If they were doing something to better themselves, then fine. But that’s not always, if at all, the truth.
4. What frustrates me the most is why people who know better, don’t do better. However, the people who SHOULD know better but are NOT doing better AND are going around trying to justify or even promote it others are the ones who really make me mad (it’s getting heated, I’m sorry but you understand). When are they going to learn to accept themselves as they are and start walking their own talk? Do not tell me you’re happy with your body and then go and try to lose 10 pounds if you’ve always been this way and are living how you want to live. I loved what you said in our conversations about people accepting their weights like their heights — if everything is going right, you’re going to be where you’re supposed to be. Once again quoting you, ‘weight is just a byproduct of how you’re living your life’. Stop teaching our people to hate their bodies! Being connected in fear, inadequacies and self loathing are NOT how we should be relating to each other. Why not be connected by how AWESOME and AMAZING we are?? The visions we have, the things we aspire to do for the world …. why NOT be connected by our best selves so that at the end of the day, we are happy — and I mean REALLY happy, fulfilled, content and satisfied with our lives. It’s easy to fall back on insecurities but it also holds you back. Knowing and accepting that we are perfect and enough just the way we are takes courage (cue Oprah: “Because you are here, you are enough”).
WOW this could have been a post of its own …. sorry! You know how I feel about this and I really admire that you are fighting for what you believe in, knowing that not everybody’s on the same page but doing it anyway because it’s the right thing to do. WE NEED MORE PEOPLE LIKE YOU!
I am so glad that we have a strong friendship based on greatness and not the other way around. I am also so thankful that we are using our voices and pushing for change. YOU’RE AMAZING BFFAEAEAE AND ARE GOING TO CHANGE THE WORLD! I can’t wait to have our book out in 5 years xoxoxoxoxo
Fitness competition: What little I have seen looked like aerobic/gymnastic routines that emphasized the ability to balance and support one’s body in challenging ways. Is the training for these competitors much different than that which a gymnast would undertake? Do you think the routine segment comes first or second for competitors? That is either (1) do fitness competitors concern themselves primarily with the form or function of their bodies? or (2) do fitness competitors usually develop within a sport or activity and later worry about aesthetic aspects, or vice versa, or attempt both simultaneously?
I’m pretty certain that the competitors are focused more on their bodies. A fat person who could do all the stunts they do would never win while a person who has a body that fits their definition of ideal wouldn’t be a total outcast even if their skills weren’t so awesome. Not to mention the whole class of “figure” models.
I seriously think you should post this as a blog post. With some of your pictures and a few quotes thrown in, I think you could get it to your readers too!
Change the world. Change the world. Start with yourself! I’m tryingggg, and I appreciate all your support. <3
Great post! I guess I am a bit naiv or way too much of a positive thinker.
When I first heard the slogan “strong is the new skinny”, I thought it was great. I didn’t really research what it meant. In my mind it meant, mentally strong and physically strong to my ability. Strong as in “I can achieve what I set out to do”. Strong as in “I can train alittle harder and get a PR”. Strong as in “With focus I can put my strength to good use and help people around me lead a better life”. It never occured to me that strong meant “muscular” in this context.
I will keep my own definition of strong and feel sad for people who thrive to be a certain body image, who confuse strong with muscular. I encourage everybody to exercise and eat healthy, but BE HEALTHY! Thanks for this post and thanks for encouraging people to live a healthy life!
I think striving to be strong in general is good – so the slogan is fine on its own, but it’s all the stuff that goes along with the campaign that really threw me off. I like how you describe what you define as strong as having less to do with how you look/body image and more to do with what you can do! That’s a really important distinction.
I couldn’t have said it any better myself. I have actually stopped reading some blogs because of this. It just seems so disordered to me. I like how you said “replacing one set of rules with another set of rules” because that’s so true!! I think a lot of people don’t actually escape their eating disorder, but rather find new ways to control their eating. It bothers me that a lot of the “fitspiration” models are so unrealistic looking and very likely photoshopped, and to know that people are trying to look like that? It scares me. My “fitspiration” is Kara Goucher – I mean, she is crazy fit, but she’s not unrealistic. I’m also not obsessed with looking like her either, it’s more that I’m in awe of how fast and inspiring she is! Fitspiration should be about accomplishing awesome tasks, not having a six pack! I’m all for loving yourself and being the best you can be, and I don’t think looking a certain way is how you should measure succes. Especially when it involves deprivation and restriction and everything. I’m so happy you posted this because I couldn’t agree more.
Good for you for knowing which are healthy to read/let influence you and which to stay away from! I love Kara Goucher — and FYI I see her in you–brunette, crazy good runner, awesome all around
!
YEAH Kara Goucher is my “fitspiration” (run-spiration) too! re: cheryl I can totally see this too…you = future kara goucher for sure. I can be your blonde counterpart Shalane Flanagan or Lisa Koll hahaha
Kate! Did you see the pictures on Kara Goucher’s Facebook page of her and Shalane running in the mountains?! Cuz that’s us…
YES! YES YES YES to everything you said here!
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Great post Cheryl, but I’m going to go against the grain a little.
Setting, working to attain, and reaching goals is one of the most rewarding ways to go through life. I don’t think that the goal of “looking more fit” is any worse of a goal than “running a sub 3 hour marathon” or “winning a fitness competition”. The latter are just as (or more) unhealthy than simply trying to “look more fit” through exercise and a healthy diet.
I’m a firm believer in everything in moderation – be it exercise, alcohol or chocolate cake. When some tangible part of your life starts to dominate the rest of your life, you know you’re in too deep.
Basically, I think it’s all in the goal setting. Don’t set your goal to look like an Oxygen model – set your goal to look like a fit and happy you.
i. love. this. post. so awesome!! i like the “strong is the new skinny” thing a lot more than what people used to consider skinny. but i don’t see why it matters! i think the slogan should be, “smiling is the new skinny” or “happiness is the new skinny.” it really shouldn’t matter if you have a 6 pack. all that should matter is that you’re happy!
This is a great post, Cheryl. Generally I have very little appreciation for health blogs, for several reasons, but mostly because I feel that many of them normalize disordered eating habits and an unhealthy obsession with food and exercise. Not all of them are this way though, and it is really great to see posts like this!
I read an article a while back about how many people turn to the obsession with strength training and clean eating during recovery from an eating disorder. A psychologist was quoted in the article saying that when people make such a shift, she does not consider them to be recovered. I agreed with the article, and I agree with your points in this post – people deserve a full recovery, not a shift in fixation.
Thanks so much for this comment. I think you said it right–”people deserve a full recovery, not a shift in fixation.”
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This is amazing! And truly what needs to be said. I have often thought this myself, but just argued that at least its healthier than trying to be rake-thin. But, any obsession or anything that can result in detrimental thoughts is unhealthy!
Thank you for saying what a lot of us need to be thinking more of. It’s easy to get on the track trying to obtain that “fit” body, and missing the real reason for doing it and that is to be able to live the best life possible!
I did a figure competition and I can tell you, first hand, just how unhealthy of an experience that was. It’s not natural to stop menstruating, and have such a little body fat that you are cold and weak all of the time. Not healthy at all!
I love your closing note, it is so true! When you’re on your death bed who is going to care that they had a ripped body for show, or where fantastic at keeping their carbs cycled properly!
I think ever woman needs to read this! I know I will continue to whenever I have a disordered thought about my diet or workouts.
Thank you
Thanks for this comment–so much love! I’m glad that you took something from it and it sounds like you’ve learned a lot yourself just from your experiences! Fitness competitions are an interesting thing, I think!
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I know I’m late to the party, but I just stumbled across your post. Thank you, thank you, thank you for putting this into words so eloquently. I lived through the “strong is the new skinny” days of killing myself to look like an Oxygen cover model, and, as a survivor, I can tell you that the recovery isn’t pretty–or easy. I guess we just have to keep fighting the good fight–and spreading the “strong is strong” message…and thank you again for this post. I’m so glad the internet decided to point me in your direction–I needed to read this tonight.
-K.
Better late than never — thanks for reading and commenting! I think hearing from people who have been through stuff and learned lessons is the best way to learn (short of goign through it yourself). Strong is strong — thanks again!!
Reblogged this on In My Skinny Genes and commented:
How would you like to be remembered? (Things to keep in mind when we’re judging our images in the mirror instead of going out and fighting for change so one day others won’t feel like they have to judge themselves…)
Just read your re-post of this entry, and this stood out – ” I see a LOT of merit in eating more whole foods, but when you replace one set of rules with another, it’s kind of just another form of crazed.”
I CrossFit, and trying to express this very thought to the girls at my gym creates such a backlash you’d think I’d just killed somebody’s puppy. There’s a very strange disconnect in the CF community. On one hand, everyone wants to claim it’s about being strong, but on the other hand, they all strive to look a certain way. My response is that it isn’t about strong OR skinny or cut or lean. I like your “Happy is the new healthy” and I’ll add that “You are the new you. AND the old you.”
Thanks for the comment. I LOVE that.. “You are the new you. AND the old you.”
Positive change never comes from making yourself WRONG!
This was fantastic!
Thank you
This is a great post. Thanks for pointing something out that most people fail to even really think about. Most women are neither truly skinny or really strong. There is a spectrum that goes in all directions. I prefer to focus on habits and behaviors that are positive. Aesthetic side effects usually happen when all the good-habit-ducks are in a row!
Thanks for reading–and commenting. I know it took me a long time to realize that things like weight, body shape, etc. were just OUTCOMES! The focus is the behaviours!
As a recovering bulimic I know all too well that it is too easy to replace ‘thinspo’ with ‘fitspo’ and anorexia with orthorexia and consider myself cured and healthy. Sadly, it is just another form of ED that seems more acceptable to the general public.
Too true–I look back at some of the previous writing I did while under the influence of orthorexia (because, let’s face it, it’s an addiction just as bad as any other)–and I’m amazed by how “sane” I thought my thinking was. It’s hard to get out of that mindset when you got into it believing that the thinking was healthy…but it’s so liberating to be able to hit “close” on the browser or just scroll past the images without taking them to heart.
It’s cool but also sad to have a blog that lets you see it. The thing is, you can give yourself props for coming as far as you have! It sounds like you’re on a healthy page now.
Agreed. I’m personally not settling for anything less than awesome and I wish everyone would get on the same recovery page!
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I love this. I’ve battled my weight all of my life. I’m a size 8-10, and I’ve always wanted to be a 2. Always. I’ve never been happy with the number on the scale, I eat my feelings, I’ve taken diet pills, I’ve had a borderline ED (taking laxatives on occasion when I feel I’ve overindulged) and I’ve never, ever been happy with the way I look.
This summer, that began to change. I started walking my dog every single day. It started out as a 30 minute walk, it’s transformed into a 1.5 hour/6-7 mile walk. And I absolutely love it. I can see the change in my pace, I can feel the change in my exhaustion level by the end of the walk. And while I don’t have much of a gap between my thighs, my legs have never been firmer. I feel strong & healthy, despite what my weight is or my pants size is, for the first time in years. One day I was out shopping, and I saw a cute pair of shorts. I don’t wear shorts. I’m 29 years old and I haven’t worn shorts since I was 17, but for some reason I wanted to try these on. I did, and I immediately bought them. I wore them to welcome my husband home from his deployment, and I felt GREAT about myself.
I want to run a marathon… something else I’ve wanted to do since I was 17. I’ve finally decided to put my money where my mouth is and start the process. I’m starting with a 5k in October. I started doing the Couch to 5K program, and this week (week 5) has been the most challenging. It was you running for 5 minutes, walking for three and repeating it two more times. And I did it. When I first started I was barely able to jog for 60 seconds, and now I can jog for 5 minutes. That made me feel strong. And like I will be able to do this.
I came to your blog from Peanut Butter Runner and I am so happy to have read this. I’ll never look like the woman in that photo. I will never have a six pack, or muscles that come from a magazine cover, but I feel strong, healthy and completely happy with how I am & the progress I’ve made. I now know that being healthy isn’t just losing 30 lbs. and being skinny. It’s a lifestyle change, and being happy with yourself is probably the most important part of that.
It sounds like you are doing AWESOME–and I love to hear that. Realistic goals are so important–you want to strive without depressing yourself.
I’m glad you clicked over–and your comment could have been a guest post about finding balance and happiness and I absolutely appreciate it. Thanks!
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