Looking back, this weekend shoulda made me feel good…
Friday was fun and Saturday was off to a good start. I had a nice movie date, tea, cereal for dinner, bought some new boots, got to see my friends and my family…
Sunday was also a seemingly awesome day filled with blogging, looking back on my week, and a trip to Sarnia for a sunny 50km bike ride, a coffee date, and Sunday dinner.
But, I ended the night on the verge of a binge. I don’t hide stuff, so let’s just say I dominated some yogurt and crackers. FYI I know it’s okay to eat these things and I know it’s normal to eat more, and I probably needed a bit more after the ride, etc., but at the same time that I’m being gentle with myself, I realize that it was emotionally driven snacking and that I did most of it standing in the kitchen over the sink, telling myself that I shouldn’t be.
And that’s kind of where this post is headed…
Why am I telling myself I shouldn’t? Why am I finding ways to beat myself up, to this day?
The why part is the toughie, but I am at least aware of the ways I’m setting myself up to feel bad:
- my apartment isn’t a disaster, but I definitely deserve to put the stack of clothes that’s just been sitting there for a week away–it’s not like I’m too busy?
- I have a freelance assignment that I should just write (my sources are in) but I keep sitting around doing nothing in particular on the computer instead
- I am back to my old habit of drinking 4-5 decaf coffees a day and chewing at least a pack of gum daily. It’s not ED stuff–I am still eating plenty and it’s not to disguise my hunger, but I am still not happy about it.
- I am not doing my physio exercises or foam rolling very much at all.
- I am beating myself up for not sticking to my training plan. This is a big one…and I think that it deserves a post in itself.
- I am eating extra everything–cereal and fruit and nut butter in the morning, cheese at lunch, yogurt at snack times, chocolate in between meals, meat and croutons, etc. at dinner and whatever at night. Regardless of whether I pour a huge bowl/serve a massive plate of it, I still eat extra.
- When it comes to little stuff (laundry, taking my recycles down, doing my dishes): JUST DO IT. I deserve to live in a place that’s clean and organized.
- Eat at the table. Notice when I want to eat emotionally.
- Eat different things — I think the monotony is getting to me (here’s a bit of a twist on breakfast with yogurt and grapes instead of milk and banana).
- Focus on drinking more water. My belly can only hold so much liquid–so hopefully this helps with the decaf issue.
- Work on the things I know I should — my freelance article is on tap today.