Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about Andrea Owen’s little tidbit of advice and kind of applying the idea that “if it’s not a hell yes, it’s a hell no” to how I’m living. There are a lot of things that are a hell no that I’ve been doing that I’ve either stopped or am actively trying to stop and this post is going to be dedicated to pointing some of those out. I just feel the need to share and whether you’re recovering or just maybe trying to be happier or to figure out how to live on purpose, I hope this gets you thinking. Maybe you could write out your own list–in a journal, on a blog, etc.–to do a little reality check?
What’s the point in:
- Doing races you’re not even looking forward to? — There are pros who have to do races. I’m not one of them. I’m not feeling like doing Woodstock this month, so I am not. Easy as that. There will always be another race that you actually want to do.
- Complaining? – Must remind myself of this one more often. But seriously, all it does is bring your mood down, draw attention and give power to the bad, and hide the good.
- Feeling slow? – Give yourself credit for doing it instead.
- Comparing yourself to others? – You either get a big head if you feel “better” than someone or you feel bad about yourself if you’re not up to snuff. Recognize that you are awesome but that other people are allowed to be just as awesome as you are. There is plenty of room at the top (whether this is about a job, your training, your body, whatever–we all deserve to be our best!).
- Pretending you’re okay when you really need help? – If you’re struggling, admitting it is scary. I get that. But acting like you’re okay doesn’t give you the credit you deserve (cuz everyone deserves the help they need and to be happy and living fully) and it really doesn’t serve anyone else. I see this with blogs where I just think people are putting on a show. What’s the point? Maybe because I’m willing to admit so much and the outpouring of support is huge, I think honesty is the best policy.
- Stressing about things you can’t control? – My friend has a good way of summing things up worth worrying about and those worth not. She does a better job than I do, but basically there are always going to be things way outside of your control, things mostly outside of your control, and then things totally in your control. Worrying about anything but the ones you can control is a waste of your energy and really doesn’t serve you any purpose. Simple. She’s a genius! And I suggest putting that mental energy towards imagining/dreaming/planning positive things instead and seeing what happens.
- Trudging through a run, slogging through a ride, dragging yourself to the gym? – I see the merit in doing the 10 minutes of the workout to see if you want to quit and giving yourself permission to stop after that if you don’t want it, but I also see a lot of value in just taking a freaking rest day. If your workouts are not exciting you, go do something that does. Instead of “working out”, find a way to move that doesn’t feel like work. That’s what being active is about, NOT forcing yourself through something!
- Being in the best shape of your life if you can’t enjoy it? – Sure, you have a six pack. But can you go to the beach and eat ice cream in your bikini and show it off if you are scared of missing out on a workout or on eating too much sugar/fat/whatever? I’d rather have my body looking just like it should and be able to do whatever the heck my little heart desires. It’s cryptic, but you could be in the best shape of your life and get hit by a bus. No one will care what you looked like–or at least the people who matter won’t care. They’ll care about the memories you make with them and that matters on your attitude, your outlook on life, your personality, and all the good things–not on the size on the tag of your jeans or the number on the scale!
- Going out to a restaurant if you’re just going to order something you would eat at home? – This means you should eat outside of the box (try something new, order something you don’t know how to cook for yourself, etc.) but I also mean what’s the point in going to a restaurant and ordering something not on the menu or changing things up so that you’re eating the same damn thing you eat day after day? This coming from the girl who had a knack for ordering a salad with chicken on it at every restaurant (if I couldn’t just get this order plain and simple I’d get it as a sandwich, ditch the bread, etc. or I’d order a double dose of veggies, hold the starch just to please ED)…branch out! Live a little! I know it might sound like I’m making something huge and scary seem trivial, but seriously. Order off the menu. See what happens. It’s gonna be delicious, and you can do it!
- Eating an apple when you want chocolate (or tea if you want coffee, crackers if you want chips, or yogurt if you want ice cream, or whatever)? – I really don’t buy the “health-ify” idea. You have a craving? Eat a reasonable portion. Stop. Maybe you were emotionally eating, but if it’s one or two servings worth of a food, you’re not doing any damage. Don’t binge. After you eat what you want, you’re either going to have satisfied a craving or you’re going to be left with the same emotions you were trying to ignore. Go ahead and feel them. It’ll get easier, and you’ll stop feeding your emotional cravings more and more as you do this and then you’ll be more able to decipher between what you legitimately crave as food and what you crave emotionally, etc. Trust!
- Letting other people’s bad moods/negativity rub off on you? – I am all for helping people who are struggling, but there is a difference between helping and letting yourself get drawn in. Surround yourself with other people who are on a good wavelength. Lead by example.
- Only doing things you know will work out? – Whether it’s trying a new sport, hobby, program in school, or whatever. If you knew that it was meant to be, what would be the fun in it? Being afraid to fail is fine, but letting that fear stop you from testing things out means you’re going to miss out. When “mistakes” become lessons and when you’re willing to take chances, life expands!
- Holding yourself back (from your dreams, from going after the boy you like, from whatever)? – Seriously. Scenarios: Try/fail = don’t get it. Don’t try = don’t get it. Try/succeed = get it. There’s really only one answer.
- Keeping clothes that don’t fit in your closet? – This does nothing for you. Buy and wear clothes that make you feel good. See my post about this yesterday if you wanna know where I’m coming from here!
- Being obsessed with your body/size/weight? – What if it was like your height and you just accepted it? How would things change? Where would all your energy go instead? Cuz your body doesn’t want to be skinnier or fatter than it should be. It is perfect, you just have to trust it to do it’s thing. Thinking you’re fat = thinking you need to fix something = excuse to not live. Lame. Stop settling.
- Being anything but optimistic? – Yes, I know, get realistic. Bad things are going to happen. But instead of worrying about those bad things, why not focus on all the good things? I can guarantee there is someone dealing with something worse and I think there’s probably something good in every day that you can find!
- Being anything but happy? – Life is short. I’ve spent plenty of mine being miserable on my own accord. That’s been good because it’s taught me that being happy is a conscious decision–and one that I intend to continue making. We are allowed to have sad days, periods, etc., but at the end of the road, we are all meant to be happy!
What do you think about this stuff?
What’s your “What’s the point in…”?