Cuz I’m “studying” or something like that (googling stuff I might do in the fall, planning my life, daydreaming about how great my summer’s gonna be), I get to post a totally random post with no apparent reason.
Except to share these motivational quotes I got in my email inbox today (I love Mondays):
“When you make a mistake, don’t look back at it long. Take the reason of the thing into your mind and then look forward. Mistakes are lessons of wisdom. The past cannot be changed. The future is yet in your power.” -Hugh White
“Should is an ordinary, everyday word — except when it is used to indicate an order that may not be refused. Then should becomes a finger waving under the nose. …Should users build prison cells for themselves. They are so focused on what they should do — that they cannot think about what they can do, what they might do in the future.”– Dr. Arthur Freeman and Rose Dewolf
“The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny.”Albert Ellis
And to add in some more randomness, here are a few countdowns I figured out on my study breaks today (okay, most of the day was a study break, but that’s a minor detail):
To Christmas –> 181 days
To American Thanksgiving and what I’m hoping brings another trip to NYC like last year’s start of a great tradition! –> 149 days
To the Zombie Run I forgot to mention I signed up for — I’m going to be a zombie and chase people in September –> 88 days
To Tough Mudder –> 54 days (hence the reason why I did some pull-ups after spin today!)
To CanFit Pro and 2 days of pure fitness fun –> 52 days
To my trip to Alberta to do my Rocky Mountain Cycle Tour –> 38 days
To my trip to Virginia to bike my butt off –> 15 days
To my freedom –> 17 hours (okay, this is kind of scary!)
To be honest, I’ve “given up” or decided to kind of give up the perfection on this one and just am gonna read in the morning. Or make pudding shots. We’ll see! I could most definitely stay up all night studying…but I’m not going to. I figured out what I need to get a mark I deem “acceptable” and it’s really not so bad (or far fetched). I feel as though this whole class has been an experience in me realizing that I am a perfectionist. I don’t like half assing this, but I am. It’s made me uncomfortable and the last week there’s been subconscious stress which leads to a bunch of habits that I used to have trying to sneak back in. Thank god I can recognize them and I know for a fact that in 17 hours I can leave this whole thing in the dust. AMEN to that.
I’ve never been readier to be done with something! 
Reminder to myself: I don’t have to be perfect. I also don’t have to give up just because I’m not aiming for perfection. And I don’t have to feel guilty for wanting to pursue something different. Or worry about the fact that it’s unconventional. I’m kind of weird, and I like it, so doing something “different” with my life seems about right.
Obvs there’s more to come on this front…
And with that tease, I’m going to bed. I’ll at least do better tomorrow if I’m well rested, right?
PS While I was procrastinating, I also updated my portfolio with my latest Bankrate.com article about how to choose a rewards card and I’m about to get my inspiration reel page all caught up too!
sleep > studying cuz you will go in there calm, rested, and balanced instead of with a foggy brain!
I feel ya on the half-assing things and needing to be a perfectionist – I’m kinda like that too. Obviously it got me through college, but this past spring when I was taking anatomy and psychology at a local college? I totally half assed it. Now, if I ever want to go into physical therapy or a Ph.D program, I’m fucked, because those are required and I did NOT get A’s. But something about it just didn’t feel right, and I knew from my college experience that if I am really passionate and really care about something, I will do shit that I hate in order to get there….and a PT program wasn’t enough to get me to study enough. That’s okay. Maybe I’ve just been IN physical therapy so long that I’m sick of it and don’t want to be one hahahaha. But who knows! I’m 23 and I got the world on a string, bitches! Or something like that. No for real though Cheryl, even without a stellar grade in this class, the world is your playground, and you really can do whatever your heart desires – traditional or not! Also, as per nontraditional careers (I seem to be headed in that direction myself haha), the way I see it is that traditional medicine isn’t helping people. North America is sicker than ever, and prescribing drugs/doing surgeries can only help a small portion of that. Traditional isn’t working, so we NEED people who think and work in new and different ways. That’s going to be you 
Sorry for the novel!!! I dont’ know where that all came from haha! But GOOD LUCK today, hammer the shiz out of that celebratory bike ride, and enjoy your freedom!!!
I think there was a point in school when I was head first in recovery and what I found was that I finally let myself not be perfect. i understood when more studying was just futile I understood breaks and I let myself just be with how I was doing. It felt amazing and it seems like you have hit that sweet spot. We all want to succeed but succeeding doesn’t have to be perfect, cross every t type thing. We give it our best and that is all that we can ask of ourselves.
Thank you for this insight! It’s good to know I’m not crazy!