Holy poop.

Even though it’s only like 9:00 here in Banff and it’s uber sunny (long days!), my body – and my mac – think it’s 2 hours later! And since I’ve been up since before 4am, you can bet I’m ready for my faceplant!

I did in fact manage to snag my bike and to make it to my dad’s fiancee’s this morning.

And she knows me all too well and took em to Starbucks pretty much immediately. In my defense, it wasn’t that I was jonesing or anything–I am allergic to her cats and the pharmacy and Starbucks are conveniently located in close proximity! 

It was nice to walk there in the sun, albeit a chilly sun — it was SO hot at home but I was cold in jeans and a sweatshirt here!

We killed time – she shopped, I read — namely Never Let Go (which I am actually taking notes on because it’s making a lot of sense to me!) and Cave Girl Eats! cuz it’s interesting and she makes me laugh, among other blogs.

There was more snacking, eventually lunch (turkey breast over spinach — yay for veggies!), and then when my dad made it here we made the quick drive to Banff. Holy shite, how cool is it that in like an hour you can go from a great city to the mountains? The wilderness and the adventure and all that good stuff is legit in your back door…

Andddd cue thoughts of how I should really re-write my 10 year vision to involve a move out here.

The lodge we are staying at is cozy. We have a loft room so I have 2 double beds to myself. Um, note to self, find a mans ASAP to share in all this fun with! Haha! The view from the window is awesome, I only forgot my shower bag (don’t worry–I replaced the goods this aft so I don’t have to stink the whole trip), and gosh I feel so lucky to be surrounded by beauty. It’s cheesy but it’s oh so true!

This afternoon, I managed to rebuild my bike all on my own. Then I called a bike shop and promptly dropped it off for an inspection and a tune up. Ya know, I value my life, so I think it’s worth it! Here’s to hoping the cute mans in there don’t judge me based on how dirty it was…or how dirty my hands were even after scrubbing and showering!

We came down to dinner otnight and had a tasty meal at Timbers. I asked around about a girl Chelsea had mentioned but no dice. Still, small world — our waitress was from Kitchener. I love talking to people out here–oh so friendly! I had a great steak with an arugula/heirloom tomato/onion/roasted red pepper/parmesan salad and I got to sample a few bites of a bison meatball. Om nom nom. Oh, and my fav…a beer!

Dessert was a great view and a piece of dark chocolate. I figure I might as well have a treat on hand because when I want something sweet, I really don’t want cheesecake or a brownie or whatever it is that is on an overpriced dessert menu–I just want something to satisfy that hankering (most of the time). I’m saving myself for next week when we go to the Grizzly Bear House next weekend–it’s fondue (ask for veggies instead of the white bread they bring for the cheese fondue, then cook your own meat–preferably a hunter’s special so you get some bison in the mix–on a hot stone at your table so that you get to leave smelling like meat, then fight over banana pieces for the nutella fondue dessert). Or for tomorrow morning when we eat breakie at the Buffalo Mountain Lodge’s restaurant (it’s right next door to us) where I seriously considered smuggling a large ziploc bag of granola from every time we go…since the breakfast buffet is like 23$ I don’t feel guilt over the stealing part — but I think tomorrow I’m going to get something more exotic. Think elk sausage…if it’s brunch, I’m game! I did eat salmon for breakfast at 4am today, after all…

Anyways, I am going to get on that face plant now. Tomorrow we are going to play golf in the afternoon and then have dinner with one of my dad’s friends from Calgary. He’s a laugh and a half and a really fun man so I know I’m in for a good day — not to mention some pricey wine (he’s got good taste!).

I am looking forward to the bike trip starting (Sunday) but looking at those mountains makes it real. This is going to be a challenge for sure. That being said, it’s probbaly a once in a lifetime opportunity. So long as I don’t get gobbled up by a bear, I’m goign to make memories that last forever. Breathtaking comes to mind. Love!

I’m ready to fully embrace this. It took me a few days in Virginia to realize that I’m in charge of my decisions. I’m talking a lot about my attitude and about my choices — I can decide to commiserate with people about how hard a ride is or about how hot it is, or I can be the person who comments on how pretty that mountain is or how cool it is that we saw a moose. Hypothetical. I can commiserate over how I “have to” eat out all the time, or I can just go with it and order foods that are more like what I’d eat at home. Without harping, in Virginia I used food as a nice distraction — overeating so I’d have a problem to focus on instead of being happy and embracing the awesome trip. Luckily I caught myself. And luckily once you do something once, it gets easier. I know this trip is up to me to be awesome and I also am keeping perspective. A beer and a treat every day for a week? If I feel like it, I’m going for it. When I stop thinking that I’m “off track” (because life is all the same track and this is the reality), then the guilt’s not there and I don’t have to go back for more chocolate after writing this (confession: I’ve been doing this a lot and I’ve been lying to myself and I’m owning up now).

One of the things I read about in the training book I mentioned earlier was a tip about sticking to your plans and it was essentially to shout it from the rooftops…so that’s kind of what I’m doing here. I am ready to give up the extra eating that I do in between meals (dried fruit, chocolate, nuts) and after/before meals while I’m standing — this has been a longtime issue, yep, and I know I’m not alone — so I’m putting it out there and I’ll be accountable now. So today wasn’t bad on this front. There were some candies and when I was getting my stuff together when I left London, I picked quite a bit. What’s done is done! One thing I have to add in: beating myself up (or beating yourself up) is not a good way to change. Creating guilt never helps. Awareness (for me, noticing that I’ve been overeating and picking a lot more lately), acceptance (being okay with it even if I couldn’t change it–because it’s been my norm for a long time and I’m still breathing and pretty damn awesome), and then compassion combined with patience is what comes next. Throw in a little determination and I think I’m en route to giving myself what I need (hint: it’s not chocolate) and to an even higher level of awesome.

I’m running away with this one, but I think part of why I hold onto this habit is because I’m scared. Who would I be if I didn’t have “a problem”  to deal with? An excuse to be less than my best? These food issues not only keep my body from being what it should be, they also keep my mind preoccupied. They give me an issue to deal with. The truth is: you don’t need a problem to want to be better. Another truth: we’re supposed to be awesome–every single one of us. No apologies. So I have this thought: who would you be if you gave up this issue? what is so scary about being her?

And for all this, I have quotes:

“Take your life in your own hands, and what happens?  A terrible thing:  no one to blame.”  -Erica Jong

“The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.”
-Joan Didion

“Action springs not from thought, but from a readiness for responsibility.” -Dietrich Bonhoeffer

“Be what you are. This is the first step towards becoming better than you are.–J. C. Hare & A. W. Hare

“The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours–it is an amazing journey–and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins.” -Bob Mouawad

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How do you catch yourself holding back?
Have you ever been to Banff?