Catching up

Posted on April 14, 2012 by Cheryl Madliger

Well, this has been one of the most go go go weeks ever. Now it’s time for some down time, or something like that. My one exam is next week but I’ve not been studying, mostly because I’ve been too busy catching up with friends, catching up with laundry, and catching up with sleep (actually, I’ll never be caught up with sleep!).

Thursday was a whirlwind with a swim, seeing the dietitian, a massage, and a coaching consult plus trying to be in two places at once! The Gazette year end dinner won out, however, but it was sad to realize that the year is coming to an end! Again, I’m glad to be back here next year, even though I won’t be an editor. I’m looking forward to volunteering there nonetheless.

I think in an attempt to make the whole “year end” part a little bit easier I drank a bit too much wine. By the time I got home after dancing and seeing other friends at the bar (whose pictures I won’t include for sake of not embarrassing them !), I still felt out of it. I tried sleeping it off but I woke up feeling out of it, so I headed to the gym on my rest day (eek!). Sometimes you have to go with what you’re feeling, and I was feeling the need to sweat.

So I ran and spun and it was awesome. No hip pain! Knock on wood. I did almost 4 miles with my walk breaks like I’m supposed to and then I spun for almost an hour. I finished with some stretching, went to physio, and got the good news that I can keep up with running, my physio exercises, and start adding some intensity. I didn’t say even though I wanted to that running after 10 weeks off makes every run feel intense—but it does. Anyways, I’m grateful to be running again even if there isn’t enough oxygen in the world when I’m running .

After my sweaty morning, we had Volume 105 vs Volume 106 face-off (old Gazette editors vs. new Gazette editors) in Capture the Flag. It was a gorgeous day so even though the game was almost a fail, I was glad to be in the sun. Especially when we stopped playing and one of the photo editors graciously offered to set up his slackline for us to try. I am always up for making an ass of myself so I was all over this. After a while there was a group of us and it was so nice to be outside for the afternoon, slacking (literally).

Here we are…

Andddddd here’s what we’re aspiring to…

Just a word or warning, I’m sore. Mighta been this week’s workouts, but there are little muscles in my legs that I’ve never ever felt before talking to me this morning. Yay for that.

After the sunny afternoon wrapped up, I did a sweaty yoga class (I could barely resist the urge to just lie on my mat for the hour) and then hung out with Angela after dinner! We watched Stick It but obvs fell asleep. The important thing is that we made it to the best part…

…I’ll take her abs any day.

Anyways, I’ll wrap this bad boy up with a few choice eats over the past couple days. Delicious. I’m hoping to cook a bit more over the next 3 weeks with my downtime, but usually downtime ends up getting busier than “normal” time. Today I’m hoping for a swim and some yoga and maybe to finish the laundry that I’ve been doing since Tuesday? Fail. Or maybe a pedicure…decisions!

chicken ceasar salad made with toast croutons. improvising!

Have you seen Stick It?
Have you ever been off for an injury and come back feeling out of shape? Any words of wisdom?
What are you doing this weekend?

Saving the best for last

Posted on April 10, 2012 by Cheryl Madliger

Where did the day go?

I feel like I could say that about this week, this month, this semester, and even this year.

When I look back on my pictures, I realize today went to my take home exam, to ~~crying over~~ thinking about all the changes coming up and realizing that this is the end of the line, and to getting sweaty. All in all, it was a productive day.

After my morning post, I did a spin class that reminded me why I love spinning. I finally feel like I’m getting my legs back after my injury. I can’t believe how much I’ve missed it.

I refuelled after the class with a protein shake (I haven’t had one in AGES) and a banana before grabbing a few things I needed (i.e. paper to print this take home exam on) and some food (because you always need food when you’re shopping) and then dove into the essay writing.

I also worked on my leftovers a bit more with lunch—a barbecue turkey sandwich and cherry tomatoes.

After an appointment with my counsellor this afternoon, I was pretty hungry so I dug into an apple mixed with some nut butter. Warning: this isn’t the prettiest snack, but it is delicious.

Heading to bootcamp, I was seriously tired. Struggling to keep my eyes open, even. But since it was the last one and since I know teaching takes about 5 minutes to cheer me up and energize me, I found a second wind and left the boot campers with a sweaty workout.

Warmup / Cone drill - jogging, shuffling, criss crossing, high knees, butt kicks, lunging, jump squats

Circuit x 4 (minimal rest in between exercises, 60 seconds between rounds):

weighted walking lunges –> with weights held overhead, bicep curls, shoulder presses, shoulder raises, or an oblique twist
pushups
burpees
weighted sumo/plie squats
plank with row
mountain climbers
weighted sit ups
weighted V sit oblique twists
burpee/mountain climber combo — MY FAV, but definitely not my participants’!

Wall sits - Because who doesn’t love feeling like their thighs are on fire?

Cool down/stretch

When the class was done, I got plenty of sweaty hugs and thank yous and a big dose of “I love my job” goodness. I really left the gym on a high and part of it was that I did this sweaty beast of a workout with them but also that I realize I am lucky and am getting back to being me, the fitness instructor who looks forward to teaching and loves the people and the music and the sweat and the spandex and all the good things that go along with group fitness!

After the class, I had a quick dinner—salmon over spinach salad with carrots, pecans, maple vinaigrette, and cranberries (a familiar flavour)—and then got back down to work.

Now I just have to print it and make it to class to hand it in tomorrow and I’m officially done 2 of my courses! Once I submit my website (aka this blog, which is weird since I just post on it all the live long day) for my online class tomorrow, all that’s left is a small exam next week.

Bring on freedom! But more urgently, bring on my pyjamas—I’m wiped!

How was your Tuesday?
What’s your favourite way to use turkey leftovers?
Have you ever tried mountain climber burpees?

Things to do when you can’t sleep

Posted on April 10, 2012 by Cheryl Madliger

It’s the most wonderful time of the year…NOT. I am stressed. I know this for many reasons including the fact that I can’t sleep. For someone used to going to bed at 10:30 and waking up at 5:30, being awake at 2:30 (I tweeted to mark the time) is not ideal. I tossed and turned for a while and finally got hungry enough to just get up. I admittedly had a real coffee later than normal yesterday, but I think my mind racing had more to do with not being able to sleep. Eventually, I unset my alarm and got up, snacked, and worked on my take home exam/essay some more. Things to do besides worry about not being able to sleep:

read blogs
write in your journal
embrace the opportunity to have a true “midnight snack”
research wild trips you’ll likely never be able to go on—or find one you actually want to try! (I am particularly drawn to the semester long treks through NOLS)
finish the draft of an essay you’re worried about
read a book
paint your nails
clean

Those come from experience. Enjoy.

My midnight snack of choice was a boring bowl of greek yogurt that got more exciting when I added a spoonful of peanut butter. I think there’s a saying that a spoonful of peanut butter makes life complete? I almost repeated my morning snack, which was similar—greek yogurt with honey, cocoa, and a few Mini Eggs. I think my thoughts just caught up with me at night because I was going all day and didn’t have time for them to sink in or swirl around my head. After my morning post yesterday, I ended up spinning at the gym before heading to The Gazette. I ran into Nina and ended up eating lunch (turkey sandwich with leftover kale chips). I love seeing her, but realizing we are almost done this semester and that she might not be here next year makes me uber sad and reminds me of all the other good friends who are going to be friends from remote locations after this year ! I worked for a bit but I started to get really anxious about my assignments so I went to the library. I saw Ellen, who has a knack for making me happier, and sat in the less stressful cafe part of the library where eating my afternoon granola bar wouldn’t piss everyone off and where my stress levels wouldn’t increase by association. Afterwards, I went for a swim! Luckily I had company, otherwise I’d probably have bailed. I did a short set with more kicking than was originally planned to save my shoulder a bit of stress. It really didn’t hurt much, just felt tight, so I don’t know what to do. I have a massage (for my hip, mostly) on Thursday, but I think I’ll see if getting her to loosen up my oh so stressed back/neck/shoulders helps things out. I also have physio on Friday so I can bring it up there too! After the swim, I had dinner with Nina (spinach salad with leftover sweet potatoes, salmon, cranberries, and pecans) and after arming myself with Mini Eggs, we met Angela for a night of studying at Starbucks. Studying with friends makes me more likely to smile and not to go into tunnel vision about “never finishing this essay” or about “having nothing to do in the summer”—common worries for me during the final stretch here! So, even though it’s kind of a stressful time, I’m trying really hard to spend as much time with people as I can and to enjoy the last bit of time here! I had a few “OMG I AM SO GLAD I’M COMING BACK NEXT YEAR” moments yesterday. Not only does taking time to see people and to just slow down keep me sane and make me happy, it also is important since the semester is coming to an end and I’m realizing how much I’m going to miss these folks. And, tear. This morning I woke up a little full from last night’s middle of the night snack, sad that I missed swim, but ready to get on with my day. I started things off with a few of my favourite things: cereal, coffee, and blogging. It’s on to working on my exam, trying to make it to campus, spinning, and teaching bootcamp. Busy is better than bored! Do you get stressed when things end/change? What do you do if you can’t sleep? What kind of trip would you go on if you had unlimited money and resources?

Frustrated Friday

Posted on April 6, 2012 by Cheryl Madliger

This is going to look normal enough, but that’s what makes it frustrating.

Breakfast yesterday was typical–apples with cereal, soy milk, and some raisins…

A short run at a decent pace…

Me being a goof…

A typical peanut butter and carrot sandwich for lunch…

Greek yogurt and a banana for an afternoon nosh (on top of studying at Starbucks, of course)…

A giant salad for dinner…

Unphotographed but still normal — an apple after a particularly sweaty (and awesome) yoga class.

A bowl of salty pretzels in response to a craving…

…but what you don’t see is all the frustration and all the “nibbles” and “tastes” I had along with this (think grapes and berries galore, chocolate covered almonds, handfuls of cereal, etc.), or the evening “mini binge” I’ll get into in a bit…

Facts:
This is a stressful time.
I have a history of using food to distract myself.
I am recovered.
I am strong and fit.

Writing my post about recovery writing yesterday coupled with anxiety over going home (or not going home) this weekend in combination with end of the semester work, my mystery shoulder pain, and other little stressors was a lot for me. I started to have thoughts like “I’m too fat for summer” and “I’m always going to be injured and out of shape” and even “If I could lose weight things would be fine” until I realized all of the things I know as truths: I’m in the process of finding my happy weight by letting it happen as a result of eating in a balanced way and exercising in an enjoyable manner, I am not doomed to be injured forever and there are tons of active things I could do with a hip, shoulder, whatever injury, and if I lost weight my assignments, fears about the future, and dirty apartment wouldn’t miraculously disappear–I’d just be lighter and probably hungrier.

Still, even after a productive day (a short run, lots of homework and blogging, seeing some friends, grocery shopping, yoga, etc.) I should have dove into bed. Instead I dove into old habits and dug into a bag of pretzels and chocolate chips. Throw in some chocolate covered almonds and you have what I consider a mini binge—delivered standing over the sink and with a hefty dose of anxiety and guilt. There is absolutely nothing wrong with those foods but there is something wrong with swallowing them whole, telling yourself you shouldn’t be eating them, and with giving them the power I did.

I was going to keep this to myself but I had an epiphany and I remembered that keeping things a secret out of shame just reinforces that something was shameful. This little slip isn’t something I need to be ashamed of. It is something I need to admit. It doesn’t mean I’m not recovered or that I’m letting Ed back in my life, because I am recovered and I intend to stay this way.

So for this epiphany, which comes in two parts:

1. Ed is like an ex boyfriend who wants me back and is pissed that I’m not interested. He gets particularly riled up when I’m getting happier than ever (who am I to like myself or to want to share my recovery tips?) or when I’m stressed (understandable).

2. This one is a bit harder to articulate but I’m going to try: Jenni Schaefer talked about a counter Ed during her recovery and I think I have a counter Ed on my hands. Last night my heart and my head told me to go to bed. But counter Ed told me that doing so, when I was kind of hungry, meant that I was listening to Ed (ie giving Ed the power to say I couldn’t have pretzels before bed). The truth is, I need to listen to ME. Not to either Ed. This is my life and I can decide to eat or not eat something and I don’t have to worry about proving anything to anyone by my choices.

Take that Ed. I’m going to enjoy a day of eating what my tummy wants, exercising if it feels good, and focusing on the right things: finishing assignments, seeing friends, and smiling more.

Do you know what I mean when I refer to counter Ed?
Have you ever dealt with anything like this? Tips?

Gimme a break

Posted on March 24, 2012 by Cheryl Madliger

I don’t need a break any more…I need to get down to work, but I’m clearly prioritizing and getting you guys caught up before I get down to busy.

Yesterday after class I went to a meeting with my TA about this big term paper I am writing for next week. I felt MUCH better after. I have an idea of where I’m going with it, at least, and am actually a bit excited to write it! I know if I give up the perfectionism I’m so prone to and just get started, I’ll have a draft soon enough. I’ve got lots of background information, tons of ideas, an episode (the season 13 premiere) of The Biggest Loser and I’ve been paying attention (sorta) to my sociology prof…so analysis, let’s go! It’s kind of cool nerdy when you actually want to write an essay, don’t you think?

I went to yoga yesterday afternoon. It was WEIRD, but WEIRD can be good. Not your typical power class, not that challenging in a physical sense, but for me the class was a step outside of my comfort zone, and Sabre got through to me with her anecdotes/ideas again. She was talking about challenging yourself, about how people often look around to see what a pose will look like instead of just doing it (to see if they think they’ll be able to), and I distinctly remember her saying something like

“In your life, see where you find challenge. And try to think about that challenge as an opportunity. And then go after it.”

I told you Sabre’s the best!

After yoga I went in my stinky-ness to Joe Fresh at the far far superstore. And I got a migraine while I was there. Which means there was no way in heck I was driving home, so I took a cab and paid the 30 dollars to get back to my apartment. I slept for a while, woke up, cooked myself dinner…”Fish and Chips” (salmon with sweet potato and kale chips — topped with cranberries and maple syrup), worked on my project, ate an apple (exciting), and slept again.

As you know, migraines frustrate me but they’re definitely a sign that I was too stressed. Usually when I start to relax, they hit me. That means I need to destress on a regular basis…easier said than done!

This morning I woke up and had a normal breakfast even though I felt so out of it from the medicine and the migraine and the weird sleep (I read about migraine hangovers for the first time today and I definitely think I have one). Then I went to get my car and to the pool. I was starving so I had a Kashi bar — haven’t had that many lately, and it was either stale or just crunchier than I’d remembered and not my fav — and then swam about 2500m! I was glad Angela drove me to get my car and even gladder she wanted to swim so I had some external motivation to get to the pool (no tri club friends or cute boys forcing me there !).

After coming home and having leftovers in a salad for lunch (soooo good!), I made up my mind to go to the shower! I made the drive and saw friends I haven’t seen in a long time. This was my first baby shower. So many “aweeees” and Lori is ADORABLE all the time, but as a pregnant woman she is even cuter, if that’s possible! I miss my Sarnia friends a lot and it was really nice to see some of them, even if it was (too) short but sweet! There were cute baby shower games and tons of food.

snacks of choice...plus some hershey kisses (I should have known better than to eat lunch BEFORE an Italian baby shower!)

After the shower, Tanya and I spent a few hours at Starbucks (same study spot, different city), ~~chatting~~ and “doing work”. I probably could have gotten more done on my essay, but at least it’s in progress and I really miss my friends, so the quality time was worth it! I saw some other familiar faces too, which is always a bonus. Besides my hair, there’s been lots changes since I was home at Christmas (the last time I saw most of my friends).

When I came back, I threw together a quick dinner that I really can’t call a recipe but that is probably going to be a new fav 4 ingredient base for all kinds of delish: almond butter (all good recipes start this way!), quinoa, spinach, and chick peas. Don’t hate it, just try it. And report back.

Tomorrow is Around the Bay, and it’s been almost 12 weeks since I got hurt. I’m choosing to send all the good vibes in the world to the people running tomorrow and remembering that I am at least starting to feel better! Not to mention, think of all the insight that’s come out of this hip issue!?

My goal for the night is to do as much of the other things on my to do list besides my essay as possible. My goal for the week is to keep smiling, and to put things in perspective. I’m going to finish this essay and I’m not going to fail it. I’ll probably do better than I think. I often get incapacitated because I feel overwhelmed by big tasks or by a ton of little ones, but if I just do one thing at a time and remember that my best is all I can do (and that stressing = migraines = sucks), I might be better off!

Have an awesome night.

How are you spending your weekend?
What’s the best random bowl you’ve thrown together in a while?
Have you ever been to a baby shower? What’s your favourite game? (I liked guessing how big her belly was with ribbon–I was close!)

Migraines make me cranky

Posted on February 28, 2012 by Cheryl Madliger

Migraines stress me out.

My migraines, though they don’t come that often, come often enough to send me into a little bit of anxiety–Am I going to get one today? What if I’m out driving and I get an aura? What if it happens while I’m working or before an exam?--but I’ve also come to realize that I can kind of predict them: I always get them AFTER an exciting or stressful time. Never during, which I guess is a blessing, but after, when I should be slowing down. When I get frantic and running around and my mind is racing to 1o1212109 things I need to do in the next few weeks (i.e. how I felt yesterday), then I can be almost certain I’m going to get one. Of course, I get random attacks that I can’t trace to much (maybe the weather?), but for the most part, managing my stress before it gets out of hand so I don’t have something to come down from is a wise bet for me, I think.

Oh, PS, I got a migraine last night, in case you didn’t guess. I tried a new medicine and while my headache is gone, I do NOT feel good. Tired, fuzzy, emotional…you get the gist. I want to go home to bed but I’m hanging out and keeping my eyes open til I teach bootcamp tonight. I love teaching, but I really just want a heating pad, my futon, and wonderful sleep.

Missing swim this morning was hard, but when I woke up at 4am and knew what was up, all I could do was turn off my alarm, take my pills, and sleep this bad boy off. So I did. I also had a snack of dried papaya (last night I was into it before bed and had an apple for the sweetness I apparently wanted)–which is a habit I probably don’t need. Migraines make me nauseas but the stress always sends me reeling for sweet–candy, dried fruit, whatever is on hand. That just turns into emotional eating that leaves me feeling guilty and gross and to be honest, it makes the next day, which needs to involve plenty of rest and sleep, more nerve wracking. Good thing I read that there are still nutrients in that treat in this article about dried fruit that came up on my facebook news feed today.

I’m going to stop rambling, but I’m not done with this migraine talk yet–if you get them, you know how much they can really rock you. I was lucky to read a piece by Joan Didion (which I didn’t realize was written way back when in 1968) that I could totally relate to. You can read the whole thing online, but these points I especially relate to:

“We have reached a certain understanding, my migraine and I. It never comes when I am in real trouble. Tell me that my house is burned down, my husband has left me, that there is gunfighting in the streets and panic in the banks, and I will not respond by getting a headache. It comes instead when I am fighting not an open but a guerrilla war with my own life, during weeks of small household confusions, lost laundry, unhappy help, canceled appointments, on days when the telephone rings too much and I get no work done and the wind is coming up. On days like that my friend comes uninvited.”

Sound familiar?

She also writes:

“And once it comes, now that I am wise in its ways, I no longer fight it. I lie down and let it happen. At first every small apprehension is magnified, every anxiety a pounding terror. Then the pain comes, and I concentrate only on that. Right there is the usefulness of migraine, there in that imposed yoga, the concentration on the pain. For when the pain recedes, ten or twelve hours later, everything goes with it, all the hidden resentments, all the vain anxieties. The migraine has acted as a circuit breaker, and the fuses have emerged intact. There is a pleasant convalescent euphoria. I open the windows and feel the air, eat gratefully, sleep well. I notice the particular nature of a flower in a glass on the stair landing. I count my blessings.”

Yupp, migraine works like that for me. The slap in the face to remind me that even though I’m injured and cranky and can’t do all the things I want to, I can do a lot. I can enjoy the sun. I don’t have to be a bear just because I don’t feel like myself all the time right now. I can be happy in spite of, and even BECAUSE of all of it!

What doesn’t kill ya makes ya stronger, and in my case more grateful.

It also helped that my overnight oats in a jar (with banana and almond milk) were amazing — lots of leftovers in the bottom of that almond butter jar), and that I made a delicious salad with my leftover portobellos from last night’s yummy dinner.

So there, migraine.

I’m focusing on how this is just one day of my life. This injury is just 7 weeks of my year. I can and will run again. I can and will have days where I feel good — thinking of all the days I don’t get migraines is always helpful when I start to get anxious about them. Slowing down, not trying to get any of the assignments (including a new one for Canadian Cycling Magazine that literally found me without me having to ask–yahoo!) or projects I “should” be working on done right now, and trying to smile a bit is my best course of action! Happy by choice, which reminds me of a quote:

“Some days there won’t be a song in your heart. Sing anyway.”

Have you ever had a migraine?
How do you move on when you’re feeling blah?
When do you know it’s time for a day off?

Heading home

Posted on February 25, 2012 by Cheryl Madliger

Some weeks go uber fast…

…my week in Texas with my family is coming to a close. And that makes me sad, because it was relaxing!

Yesterday involved lots of shopping, lots of salad, and some treats followed by a long game of UNO (which I won, of course):

veggie stuffed peppers for me, but they was toooooo spicy! i'm a whip

soooo I had salad instead, with a loaf of bread (not an exaggeration)

polished the rest of this bad boy off

goooood morning

We leave in a bit for the airport and then we’ve got an afternoon flight! I should be back to Sarnia around dinner time and I’m going to stay over so I can get my hip checked out tomorrow morning before I head back to London. I do miss my friends but I really don’t miss the cold…and I heard it snowed yesterday! Oh well, it’s still winter so there’s not much use in complaining.

This week will be a busy one…back to reality! I feel rested (and a bit bloated) after this trip but it’s always hard to say bye cuz I don’t see my family all that much!

Have an awesome Saturday!

How are you spending the weekend?
Is it snowy where you are?

Happy is the new healthy

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